Hugs
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: Regina centric family, fluffish. Some angstyness. A dash of SQ. AU. I don't own Once or it's characters. Anyway, this is just a small fic about hugs that popped into my brain.


_AN: I was going to write up the next chapter for Operation Hide and Seek but this little one-shot popped into my brain and refused to leave. Hope you enjoy :)_

Back in that land arms wrapped around you were very rare to find. As a child she wouldn't hug you. She rarely touched you at all except to inflict pain. He would attempt to hug you but she wouldn't let him do so. You wish she would want to hug you. You know he wants to, you wish he would fight harder to do so.

* * *

You find arms in a stable boy who loves you, who fights for you, who makes you feel safe until a little girl on a horse and then those arms are gone.

* * *

As queen, there are arms but you don't want them now. One pair you resent but you are forced to hug her, you have to play her mother's part, you are a glorified babysitter. Her arms are the bars to your prison. Another pair are his, his arms you hate. They don't approach you very often except to hit or pin you down. You hate his arms. You fear his arms. You get rid of his arms. There is one more set of arms, you have to lie to these arms, you have to use these arms because they can free you of the ones you hate. You feel guilty but you push it down. The final pair of arms are the ones from your childhood, they still don't hug you all that often. They still don't stand up for you. They still let you get hurt. They don't stop you as you hurtle down a dark path. You let these arms go in favour of a new life where you won't be the one who suffers.

* * *

At the start in this land you had no arms. No arms that you wanted at least. To start with there was the huntsman but it wasn't real. You didn't want an illusion anymore. You wanted arms that wanted you for real. You wanted arms to hold you and keep you safe again but they weren't there.

* * *

For 9 years you have arms that love you and trust you. You have arms that you look forward to seeing. You have arms that make you happy. You have arms that let you hug them. They don't reject you. They hug you back. They love you. You raise these arms. You teach them to walk, to talk, to ride a bike, you want these arms to be happy. These arms make you happy. Then these arms get given a book to hold and he knows the truth, these arms push you away, these arms begin to hate you and you feel your heart break again.

* * *

The curse breaks. Your mother returns. You put her heart in. She looks at you with love. Then she looks guilty. She tells you the truth. The man who manipulated you, pushed you to the curse is your father. It is too much. You panic and run. You run until you can't. You collapse by the docks, out of breath and sobbing because it is too much, she couldn't love you without a heart and you now suddenly have two fathers. You don't know what to do. You hear footsteps behind you and you scramble to your feet preparing to run. There are so many arms out there who just want to hurt you, so many already have but these arms wrap around you. These arms soothe you, their hands rub comforting circles on your back. These arms hold you while you cry and whisper reassuring words. Their owner plants a kiss on your forehead and tells you everything will be alright. These arms make you feel safe and cared for. These arms become your salvation.

* * *

It's been a long year. It's been a tough year. You look in the mirror and think about arms, you think about hugs and you smile.

There's Henry. His arms hug you again now. He moved back in. He loves you again. His hugs are insistent and make you think of family.

There's your mother. You and she had to go to a lot of counselling with Archie but it worked. Her hugs sweep around you like a cloud. She still feels guilty but she loves you. Her hugs are hesitant but strong.

There's your father. You didn't speak to him for about a month after the truth came out. You were too angry. Archie helped with that one too. It took what was essentially a long argument where everything bad came out and you both ended up apologising. His hugs are awkward but when they happen do a good job at comforting you.

There's your brother. He was a huge surprise, especially given he was also Henry's father. You two often joke about this. You talked about the sides of your father you each saw. You help each other. He makes you laugh and teases you, you do the same to him. His hugs cheer you up.

There's Snow White. You used to be forced to hug her. You rejected her. Things change. Emma and Henry convinced the two of you to clear the air which led to a long, emotional conversation. Things are still awkward at times but you both agree that old battles aren't worth fighting anymore. Her hugs are civil, rare and remind you of how far you've come.

There's Charming. He quickly went Papa Bear on you and told you that if you dared to hurt Emma or Henry then he would chop you up with his sword magic or no magic. Now he is mayor and he helped you get the animal shelter back up and running. You and he get along surprisingly well. His hugs are quick but reassuring and put you at ease.

Then there's the final set of arms. Emma. Just thinking her name puts a smile on your face. She loves you. You love her. It took you a while to admit that. You weren't very good at admitting your feelings or trusting people but she helped you change that bit by bit. She fixed you. She started that day at the docks. She comforts you and you do the same for her. You want her to be happy. Your bedroom is also hers. At night you keep each other safe. You're each other's family and though you both have your insecurities you know she won't leave and she knows you won't either. Her hugs are the ones you crave, the ones you go for most often, you love the feel of her arms around you, you love the way the pair of you fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw. It's been a long year. It's been a rough year, but it's been worth it. Her hugs feel like they did that day at the docks. They feel like home.


End file.
